Sunday, March 30, 2014

ELITE 8 PREVIEW- MSU VS UCONN - LEPRECHAUNS OF MARCH

Could it be! I said could it be! The green and white haze has fallen through the meadows. The huskies can't find their way! Shabazz has fallen among the poppies of ill-mannered magic. The time is now for the combo of Payne and Dawson to unleash the crawl. Hordes of leprechauns! The lights are on, the match is set. Let the leprechaun dance commence.

ELITE 8 PREVIEW: Kentucky vs. Michigan - The Miracle of Birth or Spirit Animals?

Watch out for Kentucky's Julius Randle! He has emerged as a killer shark who goes after blood in the water while humming the JAWS theme song. Michigan's big men will have to punch him in the snout to get rid of him.

Jordan Morgan has become more of a rabid Wolverine as the season has gone on. But much like his spirit animal, this nocturnal carnivore will struggle to perform before the sun goes down. Sunset is scheduled for 8:18 PM tonight, which has the Michigan faithful saying, "Ruh roh!" as they scavenge Scooby Snacks from the petrol-drenched floors of Lucas Oil Stadium.

Nik Stauskas has been Michigan's shining star all season.  A milky white skinned player, this dribbling biscuit of a man has been shooting at a high percentage throughout this tournament. But tonight is the night his muscle memory fails him and his shooting touch becomes a script for the next l33t fail video! He will not be able to buy a hoop on Craig's List!

The Harrison twins are not Siamese, but they are still a sort of two-headed monster on the basketball court. These siblings were born less than a day apart. This miracle of birth is sure to propel the Wildcats to the Final 4!

PICK: Kentucky (-2)

Saturday, March 29, 2014

ELITE 8 PREVIEW: Dayton vs Florida

Has the illustrious tournament run come to a close? Florida the once sought after gators are facing a fierce competitor. The antitheses of carnal rule is the airborne joy of flyers. Archie the one a time forgotten brother of Sean Miller has ammased his gang of ravenous mouth breathers and is poised to set off the A-10 grenade. Don "monk" meineke has returned! Surely his spirit will guide the high flyers to the final four!

ELITE 8 PREVIEW: Arizona and the FUN-draiser to get Brandon Ashley new legs

Sean Miller views his coaching job a lot like a buffet, feasting on superb talent and washing it down with a carbonated soda of success (which only costs $1.85 extra given the right circumstances). This sort of gluttony has led him to gain an unhealthy amount of metaphoric weight on his metaphysical body and he might have a heart attack. 911 is on my speed dial for tonight and if I see Sean Miller acting a bit wonky on TV, you all will know exactly what's happening to him on a metaphysical level.

Wisconsin's Frank Kaminsky has proven to be a slam dunk in the talent dumpster throughout this tournament. This self-proclaimed "trash man" will continue making baskets as if he were lofting paper mache into a waste disposal.

But how you gonna shoot 3's with the Arizona's pack-line defense? Wisconsin coach Bo Ryan can't seem to figure it out and this morning had to be restrained by giant police when asked a wily question by one of the reporters. This reporter was wearing a trenchcoat and seemed to think he was detective Colombo or something, so I personally think Bo's outburst was understandable.

KEY POINT OF THE GAME
- Will Brandon Ashley return for Arizona? No one is talking about this, but we here at College Freakin Hoops can never rule it out. This is, after all, March Madness.

We are taking donations for the Brandon Ashley fund. We are trying to raise enough money to attach him to some leg units. If successful in our funding, he could almost certainly see some action for Sean Miller's squad tonight.

March Madness has brought me out of a depression I burned all my snapbacks and stayed warm by the fire since I no longer have a home because I burned it to the ground to stay warm by the fire so because I was homeless I burned all my snapbacks to stay warm by the fire

I have emerged from my depression as a new man. My bracket wasn't busted this year because I'm not gonna fill one out til the end of the season, then Warren Buffet will HAVE to give my my billion.

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Sunday, July 14, 2013

Snapback 3

Bracket busted, still pretty down about that whole fiasco. Just been chillin, ordering as many snapbacks as I can.
My snapback is my crown. The freshest, finest West-Coast stylin'. Right out the eighties is that this vintage mesh truck driver snapback cap. The title Andy Mel Bend is symbolic of 90s skateboarding. Around the front is definitely an oblong-formed patch using the brand and Above allstay unknown sewn. This snapback cap sports a Black mesh back panel having a cotton front panel featuring what Ambigs World. This cover is associated with that

Monday, May 06, 2013

Self Shot 2

My bracket got busted last year, so I will start using this blog as a forum for my thoughts and also for modeling my new snapbacks as they come in the mail from lidz.com

Self Shot


Saturday, January 26, 2013

9 of the AP Top 12 Teams Have Lost

 The # 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, and 12 ranked college basketball teams all lost this week. Amidst this chaos, art can be the only way one can express oneself. These are the lyrics to a song called "Chemical Halo", which could have been written by any number of college basketball analysts after the weeks events.
"Chemical halo burning bright In a sodium haze,
All meaning is lost,
But this confusion remains.
I'm going to tear myself apart
If i can't get myself together,
And spread my pieces around like waste
And give my gift of stormy weather.
Every time i move i feel like something's broken.
Every time i laugh i feel like maybe i'm choking.
I know you'd laugh too,
But it's not the funny anymore.

I kissed the floor on my way down,
A match head burning out on the frozen ground.

I just want to thank every one of you
For all the things that you don't do,
For the stab in the back
For the kick in the face
For the pain in the neck
And all the shame and disgrace
For the spit in the eye
And all the things you say,
And all the head games you play."

Thursday, January 24, 2013

#1 DUKE LOSES TO #25 MIAMI 90-62

HEY DOOK, KISS MY ASS!!!!!! MIAMI IS NUMBER ONE BABY!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!

KISS MY ASS DOOKIE!!!!!

DID ANYONE SEE COACH K'S RED FACE BOILING AND ALL HIS ZITS EXPLODING!!! RIGHT ON THE COURT, THAT WAS SO GROSS YA'LL!!!

THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!

TALK TO ME, I'M A MAN, I'M 40@!!!!!!

THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!

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