BREAKING: Jim Boeheim Medical Fraud Costs Syracuse Their Moral Dignity

How bout we all stop playing along with this crap -- Jim Boeheim is a coot who abuses the trust that his players give him.

He wears a surgical mask and expects people to trust him with medicine, he fired all the team doctors! He has pocketed nearly $70,000 keesh from his pharmaceutical ruse. now his team is plagued with contagious diseases and Boehiem is working on his twisted multidimensional doping process out of desperation.

This isn't quite as serious of a problem but I'll throw it in because its relevant - Syracuse lacks the equipment to produce popcorn, Jim ate it all. Looks like he needs that 'Corn at home more than ya'll Orange nation need it!

Now Syracuse sucks, they lost to the san diego Combat Wombats, they aint any good. Screaming "God help us" is not the most effective strategy most of the time but I guess 'Cuse will have to see how it works out this year!

RIDER AT NO. 11 PITT Preview - November 13 2011 Basketball

Alumni day at Pittsburgh, they'll be lookin' for a spitshinin' from the Rider boys.

Pittsburgh almost lost to Gourmet-Cupcake team Kentucky Wesleyan, 76-67, with 22 points by Lamar Patterson and 20 points by Ashton Gibbs.  Rider will start Anthony Myles at point guard in place of Jon "Quality Tunes" Thompson, who is serving the remainder of his two-game suspension stemming from a controversial crowd-controlling technique in last year’s MAAC tournament against Canisius.

Let's not kid ourselves -- Rider will get absolutely NEGLECTED in this match-up.

kenpom score predictor -- PITT wins 81-61

kenpom Pittsburgh preview (5 second ad on click)

2012 UCONN Preview

Reigning NCAA Champion UCONN Huskies are a projected top 5 team in the early polls. NOT SO, I say, somewhat illogically. Let me explain.

Jeremy Lamb and Alex Oriakhi lead an After-Kemba (A.K) era, and the complete UCONN staff of athletics employees of 47 have been affectionately nicknamed "The AK-47". This unfortunate nickname will stir up the anti-violence groups and cost us some money.

This team will be very talented, but will lose a bunch of close games. Young guard Shabazz Napier will inexplicably become the Mount Saint Helens of college hoops, ready to erupt with projectile vomit at any given moment.

Coach Jim Calhoun once again hopes to have them playing in the flay, but they have eaten too much flan to stay competitive (according to unofficial CFH statistics). This tiresome food will lead the team down a road filled with negative energy and gassy fits of diarrhea, inevitably. Sorry again for the dark forecast.  It is what it is.

Rick Pitino Unleashes his controversial Chicken's Nest Defense.

Basketball innovator Rick Pitino has recently unveiled a new defense that is sure to turn college basketball upside down and leave opponents scatterbrained and hard-boiled, in that order, verbatim. It is called the Chicken's Nest Defense. Watch out for lots of eggs being laid by other team's offenses!

I have described the new defensive tactic to the best of my ability below, step by step so that any youth basketball directors reading can take this brilliant man's strategy to heart.

Phase 1 -- Deception -- Players sag off or leave a hole in their zone defense. This leads the ball handler to believe he has a clear path to the rim, which he does. I know, you skeptics are thinking smugly to yourselves, "SOME DEFENSE HUH." You just wait.

Phase 2 -- Unbelievable athleticism -- Pitino recruits athletic fiends to jump back onto the scene and destroy the spirited field goal attempts with blocked-shot talons of destruction.


Phase 3 -- Roost.

Louisville basketball <3

Basketball Oracle Born Today

Future Cincinnati coach Thomas Sapp was born today, October 26, 2011. He will be coach of the Cincinnati Bearcats basketball team from 2040-2045, before being fired in an unfortunate ponzi scheme scandal. Happy (literal) birthday, Tom!