Ohio State Team Preview - 2011-12

A moment of silence for Jon Diebler, my fair Buckeye faithful. The purest stroke in the game has moved on to the next level. However, the beast named JARED SULLINGER returns for his sophomore campaign, bigger and better than ever.

This skilled big man is the best in the nation, doing all the little things to get big time wins last year in the Big Ten. However, new radio station 94.7 THE ZONE is broadcasting at unusual frequencies, and Sullinger had just the kind of dental work for this to be devestating to him. From his tooth fillings, "Brown Eyed Girl" will be sourced directly into his brain mid-game at unbearable frequencies. This is why Ohio State will fall short yet again, and squirrely yet parrot-headed coach Thad Matta will be starved of a national title for yet another year, with an unbelievable ace squirreling under his provisions. Thanks for reading my article.