Friday, November 11, 2011

Michigan State vs. North Carolina, November 11 2011 Preview - "Aircraft Carrier"The Most Dangerous "Aircraft Carrier" Game. - College Basketball

A windy November day... changed college basketball forever. The game started in spectacular fashion. Such a physical game can only be described as grotesque licking. Then an unbelievable gale force wind prevailing from the east blew upon the carrier. Later the wind would be described as the wail of Nick Fazekas carrying Obama back to the golden age of hoops when his predictions were correct. While others believed the wind was set up by NBA commissioner David Stern to express his feelings of the lockout. Either way that day was truly horrific.

First, the ball was going sideline to sideline. This wouldn't be a problem normally. However, there was a strange effect that was carried with the wind. The effect was akin to altitude sickness. Reasoning was tossed out the window. Russell Byrd, feeling he could fly, dove over board the carrier chasing an errant ball. However, the wind caught him before he was plunged into the icy water below. He was then hoisted back onto the carrier by that same wind. He would later describe the wind as, "Fazekas' guiding hand." So, maybe, this is indeed the doing of the great Nick Fazekas from the golden age. Many other players were climbing the walls of the carrier jumping and becoming swept up by the wind in a joyous ride, "Oh Fazekas!" This was a term heard from an onlooker who was interviewed after the debacle.

Second, many strange objects were being swept onto the carrier from the wind. All manner of creatures made their way onto the deck. Every carnivorous creature imaginable was accounted for because of the wind. Adrien Payne was taught the meaning of his surname by a pack of hyenas laughing all the while. Even Obama was not save from the wrath of the creatures. However, before the grizzly could form a strike against the president the Secret Service came to his aid. Many shots rang out across the carrier. Let this be a lesson to those who shoot into prevailing winds. The bullets didn't even graze our friend Mr. Grizzly instead they fought their way through the entirety of North Carolina's squad. Obama, so enraged by the bullets of his protective squad hitting his favorite teams players, pressed his red button. The red button is used to call the elite Navy SEALs into action. The SEALs dressed in Drager Lar V scuba suits infiltrated the carrier and began to cut down the dangerous animals with their combat knives.

Third, the sheer madness that had enveloped the carrier was astounding. Everyone on the ship caught fits of hysteria. Even Obama was swimming on the polished wood of the court. Irving "Magic" Johnson was doing offensive maneuvers with the SEALs. Apparently they were trying to capture Mr. Grizzly so they could rescue hostages. However, that story was proven to be false because there was inconclusive evidence to back it up. Then President Obama was swept up by the "hand of Fazekas," and brought to the oval office were he woke up.

Apparently this had all been a dream but many eye witnesses swear to the contrary. Obama delivered this story in a White House press conference where many thought he had lost his grip on reality. Later that day congress had proposed to play all college basketball games on aircraft carriers. They claimed it was good for American business. However, Obama swiftly vetoed the bill. Whether the accounts of the event that unfolded that day are true or not is debatable but Obama's fear of aircraft games are not.

Also, this should be noted, Adrien Payne has been missing since the games conclusion.

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